Stay
by maraudersgirl47
Summary: Cas looked up at Dean seated above him. He could feel that prickle beginning behind the backs of his eyes, one of those new weaknesses that he had developed start to tug at him, as Dean's words ran through him colder than any blade. - S9 Episode03 Coda


_Wrote this after watching Season 9 Episode 3 I'm No Angel. So spoilers up until and including the episode! _  
_Basically I didn't like the way it ended, so I extended it, and added porn._

* * *

"Buddy, you can't stay."

Cas looked up at Dean seated above him. He could feel that prickle beginning behind the backs of his eyes, one of _those _new weaknesses that he had developed, start to tug at him as Dean's words ran through him colder than any blade.

Cas tried to grin, chuckled softly, placing down his burrito that now felt like lead in his hands, "I get it. You're joking. It's a joke. You're being funny."

Dean's eyes flickered, his throat convulsing, but he didn't say anything more.

Cas pushed himself away from the table harshly, getting to his legs that now felt weaker than they ever had since his fall. "Why?" His speech sounded thicker than he wanted it to, that traitorous sensation behind his eyes becoming more prominent as he felt a trail of water slide down his cheek, "Why on earth did you come and find me, Dean, if this was your end result?"

Dean didn't move and Cas couldn't take it.

He turned on his heel, the only destination in his mind the front to the bunker, he couldn't do this. Why couldn't he do this? It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. Why was it hurting?  
He'd made it back, finally, after being _killed, _and he still made it. What right did Dean have to tear away his glimmer of happiness with three tiny words?  
Cas could clearly feel the sting at his eyes now, the obvious _weakness _of tears leaking out of them as he heeded Dean's words.

Fine! Dean wanted him out. He was gone.

Cas only stopped when he felt a firm strength grasp at his elbow. He stopped when he was turned sharply around, once again looking up into Dean's face, that face that he knew so _so _well, Dean's hands grabbing at his arms and holding him firmly in place.

Cas wasn't just upset when his eyes found Dean's; he was confused. Dean was the one clearly turning him away, so why did his green eyes look just as glassy as Cas' own? Why was Dean the one who looked broken?

"I can't do it," he spat out, "I can't keep choosing between you at every turn. Why can't everything just be okay? Just _one_ goddamn time."

Cas' world was rocky, the foundation that he had hoped and prayed to have beneath his feet felt shaky, and yet his entire being wanted to still comfort Dean.

Cas instinctively reached his hand up, cupping it to the side of Dean's face, taking console when Dean leaned heavily into his touch.

"You were dead, in my hands, less than twelve hours ago Cas. I don't _want_ you to walk out that door." Dean's eyes slipped shut as he turned his jaw further into Cas' palm.

"Dean," Cas' voice turned pleading, "I don't understand."

Dean's eyes flickered back open. Cas could see a conflict raging in them, as Dean glanced hesitantly over his shoulder; as if afraid he was being watched.

"Please," Cas continued softly, "Talk to me."

Dean had used those words on him once. Spoke them with such confidence when Cas felt so damaged. The knowledge that Dean had cared for him, worried for him, had somehow kept the spark of life burning within him; gave him hope. Maybe, he could use the term in reverse.

The flicker of a smile around Dean's lips had Cas presuming that Dean remembered that conversation as well. "Come on," Dean murmured, trailing his hand that still held Cas tightly down his forearm and grasping at his palm instead.

Cas followed blindly, clutching at Dean's fingers, as his much confusing friend dragged him through the halls of the bunker. His puzzlement grew with every step they took. However Dean didn't_ seem_ intent on ridding the place of him anymore and Cas wanted nothing more than to breathe a sigh of relief for that. But he couldn't do it. Couldn't allow himself to hope, _again,_ when he was still so close to losing everything.

Dean brought them to his room, closing the door with an ominous click behind them, before releasing Cas' hand. Cas watched Dean closely. Dean looked lost, helpless, as he walked over to seat himself on the edge of his bed. He rested his head heavily in his hands and sighed deeply.

"I get the feeling," Cas said hesitantly, "That there is something I am unaware of."

Dean looked up at him between the cracks of his fingers, "Ezekiel is possessing Sam."

"What?"

"Well he's 'residing' within him or whatever. Healing Sam while he heals himself," Dean's words were hurried, his breathing becoming more rapid. "Ever since you called me and I was at the hospital. It was the _only _way to save Sammy. He was dying Cas. I _had _to do something, anything, Ezekiel posed the option. We were running out of time. I didn't have a choice. I can't lose my brother."

Cas waited a moment for Dean's words to finish swirling around his mind, a prominent amount of shock coursing through him, before he found his reply, "Are you sure this is wise Dean?"

"No!" Dean snapped, "I don't have the first friggin' clue to what's right and wrong anymore Cas. I'm worried, constantly, that this is going to backfire." Dean continued when Cas remained silent, "I didn't have any other choice, I know you can't understand, I can't explain it, but Sammy -"

"Of course I understand Dean," Cas cut him off, "I understand better than any words could explain. You forget how well I know you." Cas smiled softly down to him, "You will always feel the need to save your brother, Dean. It is the one thing you have always done. Ever since you were a boy, and you hauled him out of the fire that started everything. You will always save your brother _first_, it will always be your first instinct, because it is literally the only thing you have _always_ known."

Dean didn't say anything as Cas walked over to him, seating himself beside him on the edge of the bed, "However," Cas continued carefully, a pinch to his brow, "I'm still unsure as to why you want me to leave."

Dean turned to face him properly, "I want you to stay Cas. More than a hell of a lot of things, and believe me the list is kind of long, I want you to stay, here, with me, Sam and Kevin. We'll make sure your safe, teach you everything you need to know." Dean glanced away, "Although you seem to be already excelling in some areas."

Cas tilted his head to the side, "Are you referring to me having sex with April?"

Dean's features turned somewhat strained, "Yeah, that would be, uh, - remind me to teach you about _proper _protection Cas. And also, you shouldn't just sleep with anybody, you know? I mean, look how it turned out, you could have gotten yourself permanently dead."

Cas' frown deepened, "I thought sleeping with random woman who are kind to you was appropriate. You do it."

Dean's mouth snapped firmly shut, most of his retorts dying in his throat as Cas continued to stare at him questioningly, "Well you have to learn from my mistakes," he muttered sourly.

"So the alternative would be to-"

"Look Cas, we're off the point." Dean cut him off, "I want you to stay, I need you to stay, but Ezekiel says that you'll draw the angels here. He doesn't want to be found. He's threatening to leave Sam for dead if you don't…"

"Leave," Cas finished for him. Dean nodded slowly, his face once again pinched in conflict. "I do believe that this bunker is well enough protected Dean. That combined with the warding on myself, I doubt anyone will be able to track me here."

Dean nodded again, "Even if they can, I'd rather you here."

"But your brother -"

"Ezekiel will just have to deal. I mean, I'm Dean Winchester, if you ain't afraid of my threats then there's something wrong with you. So he'll do what he said he was gonna do and he'll be quiet about it."

"If that's what you want to do," Cas said softly.

"You telling me you'd be willing to go?" Dean scoffed over at him.

"If that is what it took," Cas replied solemnly. "You know I would do anything for you Dean. Even leave you, if I must."

"You're not going anywhere Cas."

Cas couldn't hide his bright grin at the conviction within Dean's words.

Dean motioned towards Cas' stomach, "The warding, what is it exactly? I didn't get to look properly earlier, well, I mean, being a bit distracted with you tortured and getting stabbed and all."

Cas lifted up the hem of the green shirt he still wore showing Dean the Enochian words now permanently etched into his skin, "It translates to something pretty basic," he murmured, as Dean's fingers lightly brushed over the ink.

Dean smiled, "It's smart. You'll have to get something to keep the demons out as well," he tapped near the collar of his shirt where his own tattoo was positioned.

Cas grimaced and Dean looked at him questioningly, "It was an uncomfortable sensation," he mumbled.

Dean laughed, "I'm sure you'll handle it."

Cas began to fidget when Dean didn't retract his hand, preferring to keep his fingers lightly grazing around the perfect lettering. He eventually flattened his palm down, resting the entire length of his hand against the side of Cas' toned abdomen. He didn't meet Cas' gaze when he spoke again, his words low, "Was it good?"

"What, Dean?"

"Sleeping with that woman?"

Cas pulled back in surprise. He impatiently moved a hand out to turn Dean's face back towards his own; frustrated that he couldn't see Dean's expression. "I enjoyed it," Cas said honestly, "Until I found out it was a shameful excuse to get me to let my guard down at least." Cas smiled sadly, "I shouldn't have been so naïve. Why does it matter Dean? It's not important. Just another mistake."

"You deserve better Cas," Dean said softly. He reached up a hand to trace it lightly along Cas' jaw, rubbing it against the light scruff still present there, before dropping it away. "You deserve whatever you want."

Cas glanced away for the first time, his eyes raking over the weapons lining Dean's walls, taking in the brilliance of minute details around him, before muttering bitterly, "I can't ask for what I want, Dean."

"Your grace?" Dean guessed.

"You."

Dean was on him before Cas noticed he was even moving. Their lips were connected hastily as Dean practically slammed into him, his tongue swiftly swiping along the line of Cas' mouth seeking entrance. Cas granted it to him easily, his hands automatically coming up to fist into Dean's hair and drag him closer, a moan falling past his now occupied mouth.

Minutes ticked by as they stayed locked against each other seated on the edge of Dean's bed. Their tongues twisting around each other's hungrily as Dean ran his hands over Cas' clothed body. Moving them boldly along Cas' arms, around his torso, over his shoulder blades and coming to rest twined around his waist to drag him forward.

Cas allowed Dean to plunder into his mouth, his seeking tongue covering every inch of it and tangling with Cas' intensely. Cas fastened his hands around the back of Dean's neck, his fingers still grazing the base of his hair, as he attempted to drag him impossibly closer.

They broke away simultaneously when the need for air became too important. Their breathing was ragged as they attempted to re-catch it, not moving anything asides from their mouths away, and being quite content to share each other's air.

"_Fuck,_" Dean sighed breathlessly against Cas' lips.

"Okay," Cas replied immediately, a hint of pink tingeing the tops of his cheeks when he realized Dean wasn't being literal.

Dean chuckled, chastely pressing his lips back to Cas', then moving to press his closed mouth up the length of Cas' jaw. He paused when he reached his ear, his grin pressing into Cas' skin, "You want me to fuck you Cas?"

Dean felt Cas nod firmly before the ex-angel fisted his hand back into his hair and dragged his head back around, resealing their lips to their previous task. Cas kissed him more fiercely this time, taking control when Dean allowed it to him, and thoroughly exploring.

Dean was the one to pull away this time, "You sure about this Cas?" he asked carefully, "You not just, I don't know, horny from your new biological functioning?"

Cas visibly rolled his eyes, pressing his mouth to Deans again before responding, "I have always wanted you Dean," another kiss, "I just never knew how to -" another kiss, "Never knew that you reciprocated any of the same feelings."

Dean scoffed, "You could literally read my mind Cas. How could you _not_ know?"

"I apologize," Cas murmured, "I'll make it up to you."

Dean smirked, "Got anything in mind?"

"Yes. And it involves you with less clothing." Cas reached forward and quickly divested Dean of his light brown shirt and chucking it carelessly to the ground, he grabbed at the bottom of his t shirt next, raising it over his head and breaking their lips only so he could pull it out of the way.

Dean chuckled when Cas went for the waistband of his jeans next, but he placed his hands over Cas', ceasing his actions. "My turn first," Dean said seriously.

He deftly dragged Cas' hoodie off his back, gazing at it strangely as he did, "We _do _need to get you some new clothes Cas," he said critically before dispensing of the item onto the growing pile. Cas pulled his own t shirt off, thoroughly enjoying the way that Dean's eyes raked completely over his torso, resting once again on his new tattoo.

Cas grew some amount of hesitance after they'd paused. The night before with April, it had felt great, but it didn't really _mean _anything. This was different, this was _Dean_. He couldn't afford to screw this up.

Dean reached for him first, going slow, he retraced the lines his hands had made around his figure before, this time unhindered by any material.  
Cas couldn't help but to lean into his touch. The feel of Dean's calloused hands soothing over his skin felt like he was being set on fire. It was electric.

Dean pressed his lips back to Cas' tenderly, "Lay down," he whispered against him, "I'll show you what you've been missing."

Cas followed the instruction without hesitance, moving himself to the centre of Dean's bed and reclining his head to rest against Dean's pillows.  
Cas tried to act as if it didn't affect him when Dean straddled his waist, attempting to keep his face impassive as Dean smiled at him, leaning down to press his lips to the corner of Cas' slack mouth.

He moved slowly, trailing his fingers and mouth down Cas' form, pressing languidly into him as he crawled lower. He trailed his lips down his neck, pressed them into the indents of his collarbones, moved them down his sternum.

He broke his perfect line to shift across to a nipple. He nipped at it, lapped around it, smiling when the nub hardened and Cas bucked up into him, a groan slipping out of him as his head dropped back.

Dean didn't pause, he traced lower, across Cas' abdomen and coming to nip at his prominent hipbones, he grazed his teeth against the raised bone, sinking them in no doubt hard enough to leave obvious marks in the skin. He traced his tongue along the lines of the ink that sunk into Cas' skin. He lavished at the new brand, marveling in the way Cas pushed up into him.

"_Dean_," Cas moaned, his voice cracking.

"Yeah Cas?" Dean smirked up at him.

"You're teasing me," Cas almost whined, his voice strained.

Dean chuckled, "You're enjoying it." Dean shifted his hips, pointedly rubbing his ass against the bulge that had formed in Cas' pants.

Cas gasped, moving his hands to clutch at Dean's thighs. Dean repeated his motion, and Cas bucked up.

Dean moved himself further down, resting over Cas' thighs so he could more accurately reach at what he wanted.  
He rubbed his hands over Cas' clothed erection, grasping at him lightly through the material and stroking at his rapidly filled hard cock.

"Dean," Cas repeated, his tone stronger this time.

Dean unlatched the thin belt that rested on Cas' hips and ripped the leather away, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants quickly after and dragging them slowly from where they hung lowly on his hips.

A jolt of pleasure shot through Dean when he realized Cas was only wearing his pants, no underwear, and he moved the garment out of his way faster. He grasped Cas' thick cock in his hand once it was free, the slick of his pre-cum sliding beneath his fingertips as he resumed his stroking, more effective now that he was skin to skin.

Cas bucked with a natural rhythm up into his fist, his breathing turning back into panting, as pleasure spiked through him from Dean's touch.  
Dean used his other hand to toy with Cas' balls, rolling them gently in his hand and massaging them in time with his strokes.

It didn't take long for Cas to be writhing beneath him, his hair sticking to his forehead from perspiration and his hands clutching desperately at whatever parts of Dean they could reach.  
Dean bent down, his tongue and lips once again seeking the tattoo that adorned the base of Cas' ribs.

He worked his way lower, this time licking solidly up the length of Cas' leaking shaft. He lapped at the pre-cum that had formed, swirling it around his mouth as he sunk his lips down over Cas' wanting cock. Cas gasped again, bucking up instinctively into the heat of Dean's mouth, and Dean had to hold him down so he could suck at him properly.

He hollowed his cheeks with precision, swallowing Cas down till he could feel the tip of his cock edging down the back of his throat. Dean released Cas' hips once he was comfortable, Cas' hand coming to clench in the top of his hair as he fucked up shallowly into Dean's mouth.

When Dean could feel Cas beginning to lose it completely beneath him he pulled off, shifting Cas' hips and snaking lower so he could move his probing tongue under Cas' ass.  
He licked down, as Cas whined above him, seeking Cas' clenching hole and managing to find it with ease.

He slicked him up with his mouth. Moving his tongue in and out and beginning to stretch Cas with the muscle as he pushed in deeper. He slicked him open, eating him out, and working at him till he felt looser.

When Dean pulled back, Cas immediately clutched at his shoulders and dragged him up his shaky body, slamming their lips together and working his tongue back into Dean's mouth, tasting himself on Dean's tongue.

Dean smirked against Cas' lips, "Bet she never showed you that," he said slyly.

Cas paid his words no response, preferring to continue his assault with Dean's tongue.

Dean reached over to his side draw blindly, pulling out the tube of lube he kept in the top drawer, uncapping it and squeezing some of the cold substance onto his fingers.

They remained locked at the lips as Dean drew his hand back down Cas' body, working it underneath him and returning to his slightly looser hole. He pushed his finger in carefully, surprised when it moved past the first ring of muscles with ease and sunk straight past his knuckle.

Cas attempted to push himself back further onto the digit, his impatience at Dean's carefulness starting to shine through. Dean didn't wait too long before adding another finger, scissoring both the digits slowly as Cas panted into his mouth. Dean had to remind himself that this was Cas' first time _doing this_ and he had to ensure he stretched him properly. His own eagerness was growing and he hardly waited before pulling his hand aside and reaching back for the lube.

Cas helped him with the small bottle, getting Dean to squirt the substance onto his hand this time so he could coat it over Dean's aching cock.  
The feel of Cas' hand moving over his shaft was perfection, he knew just how to make him want to explode.

It didn't take long after that. Dean slid into Cas inch by inch, the ideal friction of Cas' tight heat dragged him in. His clenching hole begging for more any time Dean tried to take it easy.  
Dean paused when his balls finally came to rest on Cas' ass and he'd sunk to the hilt. Cas was shuddering beneath him, attempting to keep still and wait for Dean to move.

Cas gave Dean the resounding nod he was searching for when he was ready, and Dean started to move.

They joined flawlessly; Dean's pace growing rapidly as Cas drew him in, his hands clutching at the back of Dean's neck again as he dragged him down to seal their lips together. They could both feel the tight coil within them growing stronger as Dean continued to pound into his now human angel beneath him.

When Dean was close, he was surprised when Cas grabbed at him more firmly, Cas using his strength to clutch at Dean's sides and sufficiently roll them over.

Cas managed to pin Dean beneath him without unseating himself. He grinned down at Dean with satisfaction as he began moving himself up and down Dean's hard cock and Dean couldn't help to buck up into him.

They didn't last long after that. Cas riding Dean like a pro, as if he'd been made for no other purpose, had Dean climaxing into the tight heat above him. His cum splattering Cas on the inside.

Cas couldn't hold on after that, he exploded across his thighs and Dean's stomach, his milky seed spreading between them.

Cas collapsed against Dean's chest as soon as both their cocks had stopped pulsing, Dean sliding out of him wetly as he moved. Both their breathing was heavy as Cas rested himself exhausted against Dean's chest. His eyes slipping shut as Dean's arms came to clutch around his shoulders.

He felt Dean press his mouth into the top of his hair, causing him to smile into Dean's skin, before shifting his head so he could meet Dean's lips properly.

They kissed slower than they had before. Dean fisting a hand into Cas' messy hair to ensure he stayed close, Cas' hand searching for Dean's other and grasping it tightly when he found it.

"Promise me you'll stay," Dean murmured softly, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of pure happiness and want as he soaked up their sex haze bliss.

"I never had any intention of leaving Dean. I will stay by your side through the remainder of everything."

Dean held him close as Cas rested his head back against Dean's chest, the sound of his solid heartbeat absolute heaven to Cas' ears as they unwound from their ecstasy.

They fell asleep like that, curled contently around one another, tangled in Dean's messy sheets. Cas felt at peace for the first time since his fall; for the first time since even long before then. He was staying, here at the bunker, with Sam and Kevin and most importantly Dean.

They still had problems to face and there were battles to be fought but for once, curled in the safety of his hunter's arms, he finally felt like he was home.


End file.
